Multiple People Hospitalized, Several Arrested During ‘Rush Limbaugh Has Cancer’ Celebration in Boston
BOSTON, MA Over a dozen people were hospitalized and 11 people were arrested after a massive celebration broke out in the streets of Boston on...
ELDERLY COUPLE ACCIDENTALLY BURNS HOUSE DOWN DURING SEX GAME INVOLVING WW2 FLAMETHROWER
Sand Springs, Oklahoma | A couple’s sexual game turned horribly wrong this morning, as they accidentally burned their house to the ground with a 75-year...
HAIRDRESSER ARRESTED FOR MAKING VOODOO DOLLS FROM CUSTOMERS’ HAIR
A hairdresser from New-Orleans was arrested this morning and accused of using his customers’ hair to create voodoo dolls and cast curses upon them. According to...
Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New ‘Intelligent Falling’ Theory
KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this...
Brad Pitt fulfills Anthony Fauci’s wish on an all-new ‘Saturday Night Live At Home’
Dr. Anthony Fauci (Brad Pitt) addresses the public to decipher the coronavirus misinformation President Trump has been spreading.
Dr. Phil (Not A Doctor) Talking Some Fake Shutdown Bullsh*t
Laura Ingraham is anxious for the economy to reopen — probably because she misses dining out at her favorite restaurant on gourmet baby souls. Actual...
Southern Governors Argue COVID-19 Good Christian Virus That Wouldn’t Dare Spread During Church
TALLAHASSEE, FL—In a bold affirmation of faith during a time of widespread global pandemic, the governors of several Southern states confirmed Thursday they have exempted...
Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself – Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag
By: Jerry Wallingford As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy...
God To Ignore Quarantine And Continue Being Everywhere
HEAVEN—The CDC now recommends that everyone stay home and avoid going out as much as possible. Despite this, reports are that God is breaking quarantine...