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DEAR FOX NEWS VIEWERS: DO NOT INJECT YOURSELF WITH BLEACH OR TRY TO SWALLOW A TANNING BED

We fucking said it. Laura Ingraham might have still been fucking that hydroxychloroquine chicken the other night (maybe the chicken looked like Dinesh D’Souza) but otherwise Fox News and Trump … Read More

MAN ARRESTED AT THE FRANCE-GERMANY BORDER FOR SMUGGLING 2,500 SURGICAL MASKS IN HIS RECTAL CAVITY

A French citizen was arrested during a border control while returning from Germany. A cavity search revealed dozens of preservatives filled with 2,500 contraband surgical masks. The shortages caused by … Read More

Ghoulish Narcissistic Con Man: “Who Gives A Fuck How Many People Die If My TV Ratings Are Good?!”

by James Schlarmann WASHINGTON, D.C. — A tubby, ghoulish, narcissistic con man — who somehow managed to get access to America’s nuclear launch codes — held another daily press conference … Read More

SAN FRANCISCO: THOUSANDS INFECTED BY CORONAVIRUS AFTER HOMELESS MAN DEFECATED IN DRINKING FOUNTAIN

Thousands of San Francisco residents could have been infected after drinking from a water fountain that a homeless man contaminated with COVID-19, said health authorities yesterday. The homeless man apparently … Read More