Is Mount Rushmore Being “Muslim-ified”?
Right wing conspiracy theorists are pointing at what they call “deliberate, surreptitious alterations” to Mount Rushmore as evidence that the Obama administration is a pro-Islamic […]
Pharmaceutical Company Invents New Mental Disorder
Pfizer Corp. announced its introduction and cure of a widespread new mental disorder today. Characterized by periodic feelings of anxiety relating specifically to the individual’s […]
Disrespectful Band of Racist Children Commence Construction on Border Wall
Armed with little more than some borrowed tools, a few pieces of scrap metal, some spare wood and a single handgun between them, a bully […]
Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself – Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag
By: Jerry Wallingford As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy […]
Someone Should Pass Some Laws to Protect Me from My Big Fat Drunken Dumb Ass
By: Tucker Johnson Hey, there. How’s it going? Not so good here. I’m a fucking blimp, my blood pressure is off the chart, and at […]
Charlotte Zoo Encouraging Patrons to Harass Gay Penguins
CHARLOTTE, NC – After being shocked to discover that two of their penguins are gay, keepers at the Columbus Park Zoo have begun encouraging park […]
President Trump Readies Deportation of Melania After Huge Fight At White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump says he is beginning the preparations for deporting his wife, Melania, back to “whatever third world shithole she comes from,” […]
Woman Gets Pregnant After Sleeping at Hotel With Dirty Sheets
MIAMI, Florida – A woman in Florida says she got pregnant on a business trip to Boston last month, claiming that the hotel never changed […]
Pope Francis Worried About Job Security After Butting Heads With New God
VATICAN CITY—Expressing his frustration with ongoing tensions at work, Pope Francis admitted Tuesday that he had started worrying about his job security after repeatedly butting […]
‘RIP GOP’: Polling expert predicts devastating Trump 2020 electoral wipeout
By Brad Reed September 16, 2019 Democratic pollster and strategist Stanley Greenberg went on CNN Monday to explain why he believes President Donald Trump and […]