NBC Defends Pennywise The Clown’s Harmless Slogan ‘I’m Coming For Your Children’
DERRY, ME — In the wake of public outcry over the murderous evil clown Pennywise telling the townspeople "I'm coming for your children," the local...
Heartbreaking: Clint Eastwood Is Trying To Make Himself Have Cleavage In The Mirror But Can’t
Our hearts are heavy with secondhand disappointment today, because a Hollywood icon is struggling to come to terms with a dream he just doesn’t have...
I Run an Influential TikTok Account That Dehumanizes People. Why Can’t I Anonymously Ruin Lives?
The following editorial was submitted by Kraola Markyshittz. Up until very recently, Markyshittz was the anonymous account owner of “LibtardsofTikTok,” which has become very popular...
The Stretch Limo Of Sheep? This Sheep Is 14 Feet Long
Wealth. Sophistication. Opulence. Luxury. The stretch limousine has long been an unmistakable symbol of these qualities, and as of today, we may have finally found...
SAUDI RELIGIOUS POLICE CRACKS DOWN ON MAJOR PORK SMUGGLING RING: 319 ARRESTS, 27 TONS OF BACON SEIZED
Thousands of police officers were mobilized this morning in Saudi Arabia for a massive operation against a large pork smuggling network, arresting 319 suspects and...
Supreme Court Issues Decision Making It Easier To Carry Guns In Public
The Supreme Court has ruled that Americans have a right to carry firearms in public for self-defense, a major expansion of gun rights likely to...
Ivanka, Jared, Eric, and Don Jr ‘Disappointed’ Hunter Biden Used His Name for Personal Gain
ByJames Schlarmann If there is one thing that everyone knows about the crotch-fruit of Donald Trump, it’s that they absolutely loathe and despise any form...
Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans
By Andy Borowitz MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life,...