People Are Going Back to Church in Droves Because of Pandemic
In times of great national distress, it’s common for Americans to seek solace where they can find it. Some turn to television, some turn to...
DEAR FOX NEWS VIEWERS: DO NOT INJECT YOURSELF WITH BLEACH OR TRY TO SWALLOW A TANNING BED
We fucking said it. Laura Ingraham might have still been fucking that hydroxychloroquine chicken the other night (maybe the chicken looked like Dinesh D'Souza) but...
‘CORONAVIRUS HASN’T CHANGED MY LIFE A BIT,’ SAYS MAN WHO HAS LIVED IN BUBBLE SUIT SINCE CHILDHOOD
A British man who has been living in a bubble suit since the tender age of five claims the coronavirus pandemic hasn’t changed his life...
Ghoulish Narcissistic Con Man: “Who Gives A Fuck How Many People Die If My TV Ratings Are Good?!”
by James Schlarmann WASHINGTON, D.C. — A tubby, ghoulish, narcissistic con man — who somehow managed to get access to America’s nuclear launch codes —...
SAN FRANCISCO: THOUSANDS INFECTED BY CORONAVIRUS AFTER HOMELESS MAN DEFECATED IN DRINKING FOUNTAIN
Thousands of San Francisco residents could have been infected after drinking from a water fountain that a homeless man contaminated with COVID-19, said health authorities...
President Trump Grateful Coronavirus Self-Quarantine Doesn’t Preclude Him From ‘Intimate Times’ With The Ones He Loves
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump told Americans watching a Fox News town hall on the coronavirus outbreak today that he was “bigly grateful” self-quarantining does...
Trump Cancels 2020 Election Over Coronavirus Concerns
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In real news that totally actually happened, President Trump has announced that in the interest of public safety, the 2020 presidential election has been...