JANESVILLE, Wisconsin – Chalk up one more victory for liberal fascism. Judy Pierrot was thrilled when Hanswurst University, her ‘first choice school,’ accepted her for the class of 2021. The 18-year-old knew from childhood that her future would somehow involve environmental work, so when she discovered renowned arts and environmental sciences school Hanswurst, everything fell into place.
By high school graduation, Judy had taken so many advanced placement courses that college recruiters were contacting her. Scholarship offers were “almost an embarrassment of riches,” said Judy’s mother Marilyn. “The phone rang constantly.”
“I decided on Hanswurst the minute I got the brochure,” said Judy. “I didn’t bother completing my ‘safety school’ applications. First of all, we couldn’t afford all the application fees but mostly because I knew Hanswurst was the one.”
All went smoothly during the university’s orientation week. Things began to go awry when the new freshman registered for classes. Judy explained, “They asked me about the ‘PC’ class and thought they meant computer class. I said I had a Mac so I didn’t need any PC classes. They thought I was making a joke.”
Hanswurst University requires all first-year students to complete and pass a political correctness course. The university adopted a “zero-tolerance policy” on cultural insensitivity after several students complained of an “oppressively Eurocentric course load, not representative of the global population.” Admissions Director Milton Arbogast explained: “A group of marginalized students threatened legal action. After we met with community groups from the Chicago area, we made Political Correctness 111 part of the core curriculum. It involves role-playing exercises and gives our more privileged students a taste of what our less fortunate students deal with.”
Judy reshuffled her schedule and enrolled in the class.
Upon entering PC 111, Judy was immediately told to stand at the back of the classroom, and instructed not to speak unless spoken to. “I was confused at first,” she said, “but I figured out it was a play-acting exercise, because it was a Liberal Expressions Department course.”
The exercises became more intense as the hour went on. Judy decided to leave when one of the instructors asked her to explain the obvious guilt she felt from being a member of a “dominant culture of privilege.”
“They wanted me to wear a judge’s robe and they started chanting ‘Judge Judy, Judge Judy.’ The whole thing was insulting. I’ve never treated anyone different – so I told the instructor I wasn’t going to attend any more classes and then I left.”
That afternoon, her scholarship was revoked and her admission was invalidated.
Marilyn Pierrot drove to campus the following day to move her daughter back home. “My daughter’s freedom of expression – freedom of everything was denied because some politically freakishly correction group got bent out of shape about something they never got because they never worked for it. They want everything handed to them!”
When reached for comment, Director Arbogast replied via phone message: “Sadly, this is now a legal matter. The University maintains our commitment to equal and fair treatment for all. The course requirement was clearly outlined in student materials and we regret the unfortunate situation that led to the withdrawal of one of our students who showed great promise.”