‘CORONAVIRUS HASN’T CHANGED MY LIFE A BIT,’ SAYS MAN WHO HAS LIVED IN BUBBLE SUIT SINCE CHILDHOOD
A British man who has been living in a bubble suit since the tender age of five claims the coronavirus pandemic hasn’t changed his life...
Ghoulish Narcissistic Con Man: “Who Gives A Fuck How Many People Die If My TV Ratings Are Good?!”
by James Schlarmann WASHINGTON, D.C. — A tubby, ghoulish, narcissistic con man — who somehow managed to get access to America’s nuclear launch codes —...
SAN FRANCISCO: THOUSANDS INFECTED BY CORONAVIRUS AFTER HOMELESS MAN DEFECATED IN DRINKING FOUNTAIN
Thousands of San Francisco residents could have been infected after drinking from a water fountain that a homeless man contaminated with COVID-19, said health authorities...
Southern Governors Argue COVID-19 Good Christian Virus That Wouldn’t Dare Spread During Church
TALLAHASSEE, FL—In a bold affirmation of faith during a time of widespread global pandemic, the governors of several Southern states confirmed Thursday they have exempted...
Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Love Thyself – Unless Thy Neighbor is a Fag
By: Jerry Wallingford As commanded by the books of Moses and recorded in Mark 12:28-34, I believe that one should love thy neighbor as thy...
President Trump Grateful Coronavirus Self-Quarantine Doesn’t Preclude Him From ‘Intimate Times’ With The Ones He Loves
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump told Americans watching a Fox News town hall on the coronavirus outbreak today that he was “bigly grateful” self-quarantining does...
God To Ignore Quarantine And Continue Being Everywhere
HEAVEN—The CDC now recommends that everyone stay home and avoid going out as much as possible. Despite this, reports are that God is breaking quarantine...
Trump Cancels 2020 Election Over Coronavirus Concerns
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In real news that totally actually happened, President Trump has announced that in the interest of public safety, the 2020 presidential election has been...
Nancy Pelosi Orders Mandatory IQ Tests for All Republicans in Congress
In a stunning new development, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi ordered all Republicans members of the House to take mandatory IQ tests. Any Republican...