NBC Defends Pennywise The Clown’s Harmless Slogan ‘I’m Coming For Your Children’
DERRY, ME — In the wake of public outcry over the murderous evil clown Pennywise telling the townspeople "I'm coming for your children," the local...
Matt Walsh is Thinking Very Deeply About Your Genitals. Just Like Jesus.
By James Schlarmann This week, Daily Wire columnist and podcaster Matt Walsh — a devout evangelical Christian conservative — appeared on The Dr. Phil Show...
Go, Girl! Grandma Just Drove Her Walker Into A Display Of Pickles At The Grocery Store And Then Walked Away Like Nothing Happened
Going out in public with Grandma is always a dicey proposition, but she just did something so completely epic at Safeway that we think we’re...
I Run an Influential TikTok Account That Dehumanizes People. Why Can’t I Anonymously Ruin Lives?
The following editorial was submitted by Kraola Markyshittz. Up until very recently, Markyshittz was the anonymous account owner of “LibtardsofTikTok,” which has become very popular...
15-TON PREHISTORIC SHARK CAPTURED OFF COAST OF PAKISTAN
Karachi-- A giant prehistoric shark previously thought to be extinct for more than 20 million years has been captured by local fishermen off the coast...
Jesus, Firewood, Murder: A True Story
My wife and I went to a local wood yard to pick up firewood, as we normally do this time of year. It’s a massive...
Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New ‘Intelligent Falling’ Theory
KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this...
Florida Bans Education
By James Schlarmann In order to protect Florida's kids from things that make their conservatives parents uncomfortable, DeSantis has banned all education in the state.
At Our Last Klan Rally, Tucker Carlson Promised Me He Isn’t Racist
By James Schlarmann The following editorial was submitted by Fritz Palumbozo, a self-described white nationalist and writer for The Dan Bongino Show. Mr. Palumbozo is...