Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New ‘Intelligent Falling’ Theory
KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this...
FORMER JOE BIDEN STAFFER SAYS EX-BOSS FONDLED CAT INAPPROPRIATELY IN ‘SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MANNER’
A former Senate staffer has officially accused Joe Biden of fondling her cat in a ‘sexually explicit manner’ reports the Washington Herald. Elana Horwitz, 46,...
Southern Governors Argue COVID-19 Good Christian Virus That Wouldn’t Dare Spread During Church
TALLAHASSEE, FL—In a bold affirmation of faith during a time of widespread global pandemic, the governors of several Southern states confirmed Thursday they have exempted...
Nancy Pelosi Orders Mandatory IQ Tests for All Republicans in Congress
In a stunning new development, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi ordered all Republicans members of the House to take mandatory IQ tests. Any Republican...
Popular Toy Banned Because Of Three Stupid Dead Kids
WASHINGTON, DC–In cooperation with the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, Wizco Toys of Montclair, NJ, recalled 245,000 Aqua Assault RoboFighters Monday after three dumb kids...
Man Suspects Church Just Wanted Him For His Softball-Playing Skills
ABILENE TEXAS—Grace Baptist Church’s evangelical team faithfully preaches the gospel to anyone who will listen—but the team’s members say they were pressured by the church...
Man With Diarrhea Rammed Truck Into Convenient Store Because He Badly Needed Roll of Toilet Paper
An Arizona resident intentionally rammed his pickup truck into a Tucson storefront last week during a burglary, police said. Mark Hammel, 19, was captured on...
Florida Fisherman Lost at Sea For 14 Days Claims He Was Sexually Assaulted by Mermaids
A fisherman lost at sea for 14 days off the coast of Florida has been rescued by the United States Coast Guard this week. Alvin...