9 Signs You’re Watching Too Much Fox News

March 9, 2022

Read Time:1 Minute, 11 Second

1. You give your wife the “Tucker Carlson” look while she’s talking. If you’ve ever gotten in trouble for staring at your wife with Carlson’s patented Resting Baffled Face™, you might be watching too much Fox News.

2. You start thinking maybe you need SeaBond denture cream even though you don’t wear dentures. Those commercials start to sound pretty good late at night!!

3. You think Sean Hannity might be telling the truth. Oh no. Turn it off immediately!

4. The other people in the old folks’ home say, “Hey, Gilbert! Turn off the Fox News already!” If the curmudgeons you live with think you’re watching too much, you better turn the ol’ tube off and go play some shuffleboard.

5. They have convinced you that Donald Trump was a great president!

6. Your crazy uncle’s rants at Thanksgiving are starting to make a lot of sense.

7. You’re not aware of a single good thing Biden has done (he’s actually done some good things believe it or not).

8. You call everything you don’t like “woke” or “cancel culture”. Morning traffic? Woke. Decaf coffee? Cancel culture! Marvel movies? Woke AND cancel culture!

9. You bought your bedroom pillow, your throw pillows, and your couch cushions from the MyPillow Guy. Oh no! You’ve been brainwashed!

Remember — if you’re watching too much Fox News, there is hope. Just get your fake news from Newsmax or OAN instead!