Mr. Shapiro told his audience he used to have so much trouble finding his wife’s clitoris that he began to believe they were a myth, “perpetrated by Big Vagina” to enslave men to women’s sexual desires.
“My wife laughed pretty hard when I told her that little theory of mine. Not as hard as she laughed on our wedding night when I unsheathed my man unit, but she was laughing pretty hard regardless,” Shapiro said. “She put me straight, but refused to show me her clit to prove me wrong, so honestly I’m still just a tiny bit skeptical.”
Shapiro said finding his wife’s clitoris ranks so low on his list of priorities, he usually doesn’t even bother.
“Owning the libs is a really hard, time-consuming job. I have so many old Republican bumper stickers to read in order to get my talking points and political views from, I barely have time to have physical intimacy with my wife, who again, told me that I don’t really need to worry about finding her clit,” Shapiro continued. “Maybe if I quit working and become a liberal mooching moocher, then I’ll have time to care or even think about my wife’s clitoris.”