Nancy Pelosi Orders Mandatory IQ Tests for All Republicans in Congress
In a stunning new development, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi ordered all Republicans members of the House to take mandatory IQ tests. Any Republican...
Popular Toy Banned Because Of Three Stupid Dead Kids
WASHINGTON, DC–In cooperation with the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, Wizco Toys of Montclair, NJ, recalled 245,000 Aqua Assault RoboFighters Monday after three dumb kids...
NASCAR Fans Roar Approval As Wealthy Coastal Elitist Pretends To Care About Their Culture
DAYTONA BEACH, FLORIDA — Not everyone in attendance at the Daytona 500 this past weekend were supporters of his, but when a wealthy, coastal elite...
Man Suspects Church Just Wanted Him For His Softball-Playing Skills
ABILENE TEXAS—Grace Baptist Church’s evangelical team faithfully preaches the gospel to anyone who will listen—but the team’s members say they were pressured by the church...
Macy’s Fires Another Santa for Drinking on the Job
NEW YORK – Macy’s department store has fired yet another Santa Claus employee for being drunk at their Herald Square location in Manhattan, their fifth...
Man With Diarrhea Rammed Truck Into Convenient Store Because He Badly Needed Roll of Toilet Paper
An Arizona resident intentionally rammed his pickup truck into a Tucson storefront last week during a burglary, police said. Mark Hammel, 19, was captured on...
Florida Fisherman Lost at Sea For 14 Days Claims He Was Sexually Assaulted by Mermaids
A fisherman lost at sea for 14 days off the coast of Florida has been rescued by the United States Coast Guard this week. Alvin...