Lahren: “All Lives Matter Except When You Need to Die for The Economy”
By James Schlarmann VAPID ATTENTION WHORE, CALIFORNIA — Fox News contributing racist Tabitha Lahren said during a segment on Fox & Morons this morning that...
Outgoing President Trump Sues Math
Philadelphia, PA - In the most ambitious yet of a series of lawsuits aimed at overturning the results of this month's election, President Donald Trump’s...
Tucker Carlson: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
Tucker Carlson is admired by white nationalists, elected officials, and maybe some of your relatives or coworkers. Given that he has the ear of so...
BURGLAR SUES HOMEOWNER AFTER BEING RAPED BY GERMAN SHEPHERDS WHILE STUCK IN HOUSE’S PET DOOR
A young home invader arrested after calling the police himself to report he was being raped by his victim’s dogs, has filed an $850,000 lawsuit...
TEENAGER SUES HIS PARENTS FOR $250,000 FOR NAMING HIM GAYLORD
A 17-year old boy from Missouri has launched a civil lawsuit against his parents for naming him Gaylord as a child, a name which allegedly...
MAN SUES HIS PARENTS FOR $1.8M FOR DRESSING HIM UP AS A GIRL UNTIL HE WAS 14
A young man from San Francisco launched a controversial civil lawsuit against his parents this morning, demanding $1,857,250 in financial compensation for being raised as...
Man Finds Ted Cruz Drowning and Throws Him a Cement Life Preserver
WASHINGTON, D.C. — While it’s not clear at this time exactly why Senator Ted Cruz went for a swim in the Potomac river last night,...
Readjusting To Civilian Life: Donald Trump Keeps Accidentally Shitting All Over The Floor Because His Mar A Lago Toilet Is In A Different Place Than The White House Toilet He’s Used To
Any major change in life always requires a bit of getting used to, and according to a new report, it seems that is especially true...
’90s Kids Rejoice! PBS Is Re-Releasing The Banned ‘Magic School Bus’ Episode Where The Class Shrinks Down And Tails Ms. Frizzle’s Boyfriend To Find Out If He’s Cheating On Her
If you grew up in the ‘90s, you definitely watched A LOT of The Magic School Bus. However, there’s one infamous episode you probably haven’t...