President Trump Grateful Coronavirus Self-Quarantine Doesn’t Preclude Him From ‘Intimate Times’ With The Ones He Loves
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump told Americans watching a Fox News town hall on the coronavirus outbreak today that he was “bigly grateful” self-quarantining does...
Trump Cancels 2020 Election Over Coronavirus Concerns
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In real news that totally actually happened, President Trump has announced that in the interest of public safety, the 2020 presidential election has been...
Nancy Pelosi Orders Mandatory IQ Tests for All Republicans in Congress
In a stunning new development, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi ordered all Republicans members of the House to take mandatory IQ tests. Any Republican...
NASCAR Fans Roar Approval As Wealthy Coastal Elitist Pretends To Care About Their Culture
DAYTONA BEACH, FLORIDA — Not everyone in attendance at the Daytona 500 this past weekend were supporters of his, but when a wealthy, coastal elite...