9 Signs You’re Watching Too Much Fox News
1. You give your wife the "Tucker Carlson" look while she's talking. If you've ever gotten in trouble for staring at your wife with Carlson's...
Local Idiot Thinks Presidents Control Gas Prices
By James Schlarmann BARONTOWN, MISSISSIPPI — Town moron and well-known local idiot Matthew Palumricci admits that he has no earthly clue how, exactly, prices in...
Biden’s Told Aides He Wishes Presidents Weren’t Constitutionally Required to Set Gas Prices
By James Schlarmann In recent days, sources close to the situation have reported that President Joe Biden has expressed misgivings about some of the duties...
God Tells Pat Robertson to “Suit Up and Fight for Putin If He Wants the End Times So Badly”
By James Schlarmann March 1, 2022 KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY — This past weekend, fossilized human and retired televangelist Pat Robertson seemed to throw his...
Rittenhouse Suing Anyone Who Says He’s a Murderer Just Because He Murdered Two People
February 23, 2022 By James Schlarmann LAKE MATALOS, ILLINOIS — In 2020, acquitted murderer Kyle Rittenhouse murdered two people during a chaotic night of protests...
Pat Robertson: God Is Compelling Putin To Invade Ukraine
By John Amato — February 28, 2022 The Final Days and the End Times are big on the evangelical circuit. Different denominations claim dibs on...
NEW JERSEY MAN OBTAINS RIGHT TO MARRY HIS DEAD MOTHER AFTER AN 8-YEAR LEGAL BATTLE
The New Jersey Supreme Court rendered a controversial judgment this morning, allowing a man from Trenton to legally marry his dead mother. In a split...
Brave, Maskless Patriot Would Rather Be Arrested Than Leave McDonald’s Without His McNuggets
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — At the time of publication, right-wing podcaster and self-described “Mega MAGA Patriot” Jethro Bohiggins is still in a tense, armed...
The Latest Evil Immigrant Scheme: Illegal Aliens Are TEAMING UP To Produce MICRO-ILLEGALS That Are Small Enough To Run RIGHT THROUGH An ICE Agent’s LEGS!
Patriots, you are not safe: EVIL immigrants have come up with another twisted scheme to worm their way into the MAGNIFICENT United States of America....