A Texan fights to save son — who plotted his family’s murder

Lying on a hospital bed, his thorax punctured by a nine-millimeter bullet, Kent Whitaker vowed to take revenge on the person behind his family’s brutal murders. Today, Whitaker is fighting to save that same mastermind from a death sentence, for a particularly personal reason: it’s his own son.

Huckabee Sanders Pronounces Media A Danger To National Security

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, spokeswoman for the man who spent over a year shouting “Lock Her Up!” at his rallies in order to express displeasure for Hillary Clinton mishandling some classified information in their fever dreams, scolded media today and claimed they were a danger to national security.

Polyamory, Robot Sex Are Consequences of the Sexual Revolution

Not for nothing, but the latest fruits of the sexual revolution are even more bizarre than most of us imagined. We knew things would get a little freaky, but maybe we didn’t know it would involve an upswing in polygamy, amorous activities with plastic women, or cuddling sessions with electric candelabra.

After Backlash, Hannity Takes Down Article Saying There’s ‘Secret Sperm’ Hidden In Obama Portrait

It has finally happened: Fox host Sean Hannity has officially lost his tiny mind, and even the internet cannot help but laugh. Hannity is convinced that the official portrait of former President Barack Obama is filled with “inappropriate sexual innuendo”: Obama’s portrait – a stark contrast to predecessors with inappropriate sexual innuendo https://t.co/YupamDxqKt — Sean

Trump Has a New Plan to Save Money on Food Stamps

The Trump administration unveiled a new plan to revamp how people are receiving food stamps, suggesting that the government give them boxes of nonperishable food instead. The new suggestion, written in the 2019 budget proposal, would take half of the money people get from the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program and instead send families a box

The Omarosa Files: Pence Thinks Jesus Talks To Him

Governor MIKE PENCE signs Indiana’s We Don’t Serve Your Kind into law with the approving gaze of Indiana’s various mullahs, clerics, and militia tribesmen. One of the refrains I hear from reasonable people is that termite buffet Mike Pence would be preferable to Comrade Stupid.

NY Times Hires And Then Abruptly Fires Nazi Sympathizer

Yesterday, the New York Times announced at 3 pm they’d hired Quinn Norton to join their editorial board. By 9 pm yesterday they announced they’d “parted ways.” The New York Times continues to devolve into a parody of its former self.

Israeli police recommend indictment of Netanyahu

Israeli police have recommended indicting Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu for bribery, fraud and breach of trust after months of investigation into two corruption cases. The recommendations on Tuesday will now go to the attorney general, who will decide whether to prosecute him or not.

Kim Jong Un lookalike provokes North Koreans in Olympic melee

A Kim Jong Un lookalike who has been making mischief at the Pyeongchang Olympics danced in front of North Korea’s female cheerleading team before being nabbed and hauled off by police on Wednesday. The Kim impersonator, wearing thick-rimmed glasses and dressed in all black, sparked anger when he waved at the famed “army of beauties”

Marijuana Could Cause Mental Illness, Fatal Car Crashes

As marijuana becomes increasingly legal for medicinal or recreational purposes, scientists are taking a harder look at its possible harmful effects, including its role in fatal car crashes — the April 20 marijuana holiday, otherwise referred to “4/20,” is one time and day of note — as well as whether it is linked to a