FAQ for Wingnuts, Librarians and Pundits Who Were Apparently Sick the Day They Taught “Critical Thinking” at School

 

1) HOW CAN YOU HIPPIES TOLERATE BIRDIE SANDERS AND ELIZABETH WARREN BEING MILLIONAIRES?

The same way we tolerated Franklin and Theodore Roosevelt being millionaires. And Lyndon Johnson. And Ted Kennedy and Howard Metzenbaum.

Most hippies don’t object to anyone having money. We object to people who have money either (1) behaving selfishly towards people who don’t or (2) trying to get more– at the expense of other people.

People who object to public beaches spoiling the ocean view from their mansions piss us off.

2) YOU DON’T THINK IT’S HYPOCRITICAL FOR MILLIONAIRES TO ATTACK THE WEALTHY?

Nope. You’re just using identity politics to attack someone you don’t like.

When Sanders and Warren weren’t millionaires, you said they were just envious because they were failures who didn’t have money. Now they have money, you claim they can’t complain.

Tell me the income level where you consider it acceptable to complain about the behavior of the wealthy.

3) SINCE THEY OBJECT TO PEOPLE HAVING MONEY, WHY DON’T THEY GIVE THEIRS AWAY?

I covered this. Hippies don’t object to people having money. They object to the way people BEHAVE after they have money.

If Lori Loughlin were content to snort coke and vajazzle herself with emeralds, nobody would care. Its when she tries to use her money to steal a spot at an elite college for her idiot child– from someone more deserving– that people get cranky.

4) BOTH SANDERS AND WARREN DO OBJECT TO PEOPLE HAVING MONEY. THEY’RE TRYING TO TAKE MONEY AWAY FROM THE RICH.

Yeah. Just like the police take money away from people who scalp tickets or sell drugs. If you profit from doing bad stuff, you don’t get to keep the money.

5) THEY CLAIM THE SYSTEM IS RIGGED. HOW DID THEY GET RICH IF IT IS?

Do you understand the definition of “rigged”? It doesn’t mean “nobody ever wins”– it means most people won’t win.

The number of people who get rich from writing a book is tiny.

6) YOU DON’T FIND IT HYPOCRITICAL TO GET RICH SELLING A BOOK SAYING RICH PEOPLE ARE BAD?

Vocabulary isn’t your strong suit, is it? Google the word “hypocrisy” before you use it again

Sanders and Warren WROTE books. They had no idea how many copies people would buy. Had the books sold 1,000 copies, they wouldn’t have made a cent. People CHOSE to buy it– a lot of people– so they got rich.

The people who are being hypocritical here are the PUBLISHERS. The owners, stockholders and executives, almost without exception, are millionaires, They believe the ideas Sanders and Warren propose would destroy the country.

But they’re willing to publish a book promulgating those ideas. For money.

THAT is hypocritical.

7) BUT IF ANYONE ELSE MAKES MONEY SELLING A PRODUCT–

You don’t get to finish that. Readers can CHOOSE whether to buy books from Sanders and Warren. People who need drugs to stay alive– or heat, water and electricity– don’t have that option.

21st-century capitalism is dedicated to the proposition that buyers shouldn’t GET a choice. Pinnacle Foods, for example, owns the three most popular syrup brands: Log Cabin, Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth. PInnacle also owns two of the three frozen fish companies (Mrs. Paul’s and Van De Kamp).

I could go on. Consolidation is part of the way the system is rigged.

8) YOU KNOW THAT [NAME OF PERSON] SAID SOCIETY SHOULDN’T ALLOW ANYONE TO BE MILLIONAIRES.

Some of the people who say that are silly, many post, while they’re upset, in response to something that infuriated them. Some believe it.

Mike Pence believes that people who believe in God won’t get sick and don’t need healthcare. Can we make him representative of all christians– or are you gonna tell me that he’s just one person?

9) THEY’RE STILL MILLIONAIRES.

Bernie Sanders is 77 years old. Elizabeth Warren is about to turn 70. You think there is something wrong with accumulating a lot of money after a lifetime of work? Who’s really the socialist here?

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